Fatuus- a compulsory examination of God in the waiting room at his first therapy apointment

Jehova Himself sitting nervously in the waiting room. not sure what He is going to talk about...

"She's supposed to be the best. I looked into it, Where should I start? My unresolved sexual frustration that have manifested themselves in fire raining from the sky onto a helpless but fun-loving Sodom and Gammorah? My unashamed misanthropy which led to me drowning every living thing in the world except for the two people I sorta liked and some animals? The set-ups, deceptions, blatant ignorance, the fact that I am too prideful to work out a simple argument with my closest aide...nay, friend. Ugh I need to work out, who has the time? You invent it and then spend the rest of eternity trying to find some extra lying around. Just goes with the whole 'perfect and divine being' role. As if THAT isn't enough pressure alone. I guess I could talk about the kid, about how I forgave the sins of everyone in the world, but in order to do that he had to suffer in terrible ways till he was dead, AFTER showing up, turning his calm, peaceful life upside down, told him I was his father even though I hadn't been there once for him,total absentee, and now he had to go do My work, and no he didn't have a choice, Real 'Cat's in the Cradle' moment THAT was. Man, and he's really just one aspect of me, so I was really doing all that to myself!!! Self-loathing narcissism anyone!? Well, she really is the best, and I have some pretty reputable sources. To say the least. Still, how do I even open this conversation, 'well, on the first day I created light, the heavens, and the earth, on the second day I was very conflicted about it'. That'll go over like a fart in church (which really, I don't mind that so much). 'I don't know how i feel about all the wars that have been and still are fought in my name, but it's a little disconcerting that 'satisfied' is the first word that comes to mind..I really am a more just and loving God then I come across, but still, I do enjoy the powertrip. Even after all these years.' Ughhh c'mon, Yahweh, Just be you, Let her ask the questions, get the ball rolling....I hope I can smoke in there, Terrible habit....for people hehehe. Ugh i should just go, this is my last chance to sneak ou.."

"Mr....Lord? The dr. will see you now."