There is no Good News in this Chapter (old. 10/22/2007)

this isn't about you. as i zipped up your dress my stomach knotted like a noose. i hated to think that when you turned around i would be looking into the face of a ghost, some old victim of wars or famines[][][][][][][][][0][0][0][][] this is about the day my dream dripped down my arm, leaving pictures in it's wake as it dripped slowly off the tips of my trembling fingers
this isn't about death. this is about symbols. this about what's left of me as i hang from those thirteen perfectly tied knots in my stomach
this is not about suicide. this is about myth, about something greater than God or dreams, or dreams about gods. faces pressed against the windows of buses leaving for the coast. this is about oceans. about stealing the wind from the sails of sinking ships.
this isn't about despair. this is about how destiny is a farce. and about your zipper catching my finger and my blood staining your perfect white dress. the drops in perfect symmetry to the size of my pupils as they dilate and i fume...............................................................................................................................................
................................................................................................................ this isn't about rage. this is not about Grendal standing over the eviscerated corpses of mangy, rotten goats.///////////////////////////////////////////
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this is not about heroes. yours or mine. this is about sunsets and beggars riding away on gross mares. what do they beg for? pennies to place on their own dead eyes? this is about life, about how alive i can feel watching my blood seep into the fibers of your evening wear. ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
this is not about sleep. it's about waking up from dreams about apples peeling themselves for me. as the trees performed mournful string concertos. "there is no  problem, darlin'. i cut myself on the zipper is all...nope. no blood on your dress....yes, you look perfect."______________________this is not about lies. this is about burying yourself in the sound of words. how they roll from tongue to tongue, delivering messages, infuriating the minds of teeth

this isn't about me. it's really not. it's about empty spaces and drawing them into myself.

this was inspired by this amazing book. if you haven't read it you should check it out. very strange, dreamlike book. makes you feel like everything around you is a dream as you read it.